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  • Writer's pictureAsk Pastor Adrienne

God Won't Give Me What I Want


Dear Pastor,

Jesus said if we ask for something, He will give it. Yet if God gives us everything we ask for then why don’t I have it?


Ah yes. We all want God-the-Sugar-Daddy; God-the-Genie-in-a-Bottle; the Divine ATM. I’ll raise my hand! Jesus actually said, “Ask, and it will be given to you...” (Matthew 7:7, 8.) But there are some things I’ve been asking God to give me for decades, if not longer...and I still don’t have them. It seems unfair, doesn’t it? However, when our theology doesn’t match our reality, the problem is not usually on God’s end. We need to look closer and seek to understand the Bible and how God thinks.

It isn’t that God doesn’t want you to have everything. He is the God of abundance, the original giver, the good father who doesn’t deprive his children or mistreat them (Luke 11:12.) Yet unfortunately, God is SO good, he won’t give you the things that could hurt you, ruin you, destroy you or in any way disrupt your relationship with him. Sometimes what we ask for is not good for us but we don’t realize it. We think God doesn’t hear what we’re asking—we judge him and declare him of no use. God in his wisdom takes the flack of our complaint and rejection because he loves us too much to operate on cue. Just because we like to spoil our children doesn’t mean God will spoil his! Spoiled children cannot easily develop into mature adults since everything is handed to them and they are not able to learn perseverance or how to wait. God’s aim, after all, is Christian maturity. God desires sons and daughters who trust his decisions for our lives whether we like them or not. Who honor him when we don’t get our way, simply because he is God and we are not. Humility and subordination, after all, is the core of this special relationship. If we don’t have something we’ve asked for, then God has a reason. Maturity will always be satisfied with this answer.

The scripture behind these truths is John 15:1, 2: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.” Most of us know this section of scripture very well, attributing it to one of the great parables of Jesus where he explains that he is our connection to Father God; he’s the vine and we are his spiritual offshoots. Yet, some of us who feel abused by life, ignored by God and perhaps cheated out of some of the blessings the Bible promises, snag on the word “prune.” Rightly so. No one in relationship with Christ lives a life without some painful pruning. However, a gardener will tell you that without pruning, a rose bush will never reach its fullest potential. Exactly. God is interested in our fruit; our biggest, fullest destiny possible within a faith that blooms with gratitude. Unfortunately, between Jesus’ words about “fruit” and “more fruit” is the action of cutting. Cutting back. Cutting off. Removing. Pruning. Growing up can be painful, in life and in Jesus. Do we trust the one who holds the knife? Or do we whine about what we don’t have like spoiled children?

We believers who walk with God; trusting him as our good and faithful Father; that he’ll reward us like a favored servant; and love us like family; must understand that in order for God to bless us with big things, we must be found trustworthy with little things. God’s integrity is riding on our ability to handle and steward what he chooses to give. We’ve all seen famous men and women of God fall face down in immorality or legal trouble—and their Christian platform crumbles. It isn’t the people in question who suffer most. It’s Christianity as a whole, God’s goodness and God’s people. We are all responsible to represent him well. When we don’t, we put a black mark on the whole Church since the world is watching.

Why don’t you have exactly what you want? Because “there is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NASB.) The process of waiting on God is a vital part of our journey with him.

Do you have a question or comment for Pastor Adrienne? Email your inquiries to: For more information & contact for bookings, please also explore:



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