Will My Tragedy Be a Comma or Coma?
Q:
Dear Pastor Adrienne,
Someone I love has died. I’m asking God to help me but I still can’t function. What do I do?
A:
Please accept my sincere sympathies. I understand how you must feel. At a certain age, death of our loved ones, sadly, becomes a regular part of life. My heart aches with you. I know it doesn’t feel fair! While it is not a comfort, we know that human history is full of adversity. Job said, “For affliction does not come from the dust, nor does trouble sprout from the ground, for man is born for trouble, as sparks fly upward.” (Job 5:6 &7, NASB95) Trouble came to earth, in other words, when man came. But I’ll clarify that and say that trouble came when sin came to earth. Mankind wasn’t a problem until we brought sin into it, in Genesis chapter three. The earth is broken now. People die.
I heard a pastor I admire speaking to his audience about adversity. He said this, “Right after the rug is yanked out from under you, and the dust has settled, you must decide... will this be a comma or a coma?” Will we step back from the tragedy or trauma, lick our wounds and take a pause; reflect and regroup to rise again? Or will we check-out altogether? We all know people who responded with either a comma or a coma, when faced with something catastrophic; or maybe something just upsetting and disappointing. Both reactions may very well be justified—people go through horrific things in life. The finality of death is devastating to all. But we have a choice about which road we choose after facing what we cannot control.
Many of our biblical heroes became men and women we admire because of how well they coped with and survived terrible difficulty and hardship. Names like Moses, Joshua or Debra; David, Paul or even Jesus Christ bring to mind unthinkable trials that marked their lives. We remember what they went through and how they persisted until God miraculously delivered them in some way. They came through it and in so doing, give us hope, even now.
Winston Churchill comes to mind in modern history when we think of someone who, though he began life in privilege and ease, spent his adulthood being disliked and maligned; often misunderstood and rejected. He was used by God under paralyzing strain, hard work and prayer, to save his nation and the world, from darkest evil. He persevered and hope lives on that it can be done.
In case you don’t know are unaware of who Winston Churchill was; he was a knighted statesman of Britain; serving as the Prime Minister during the years that Adolph Hitler tried to assume global power and decimate the Jewish population. Churchill forged crucial ties with U.S. President Roosevelt and the Soviets to secure Allied victory over Hitler and the Nazi’s. Hitler was defeated because Churchill persevered when nobody believed him. The ongoing Nazi holocausts were ended because one man stood up and brought to light what Hitler was really doing—the United States had no idea at the time.
Yet after Churchill’s success in WWII, he faded quickly into the background, lost a political election in 1945 and sat down discarded and disgraced. However, God wasn’t done: By 1951, he was back on the world’s political stage and re-elected as Prime Minister of England. He even won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1953. Winston fell down many times, but got up again and again. (He died at the age of 90 in 1965.)
Solomon’s book of Proverbs says: “Do not lie in wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous; do not destroy his resting place; for a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity.”(Proverbs 24:15 & 16)
God’s people will get up again, and again, and again...even though they have fallen. Why? Because of the promises of God found in the holy Scriptures. This is my favorite:
“The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against evildoers, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. The righteous cry and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” (Psalm 34:15-19)
The comma or the coma. Do we respond to our set-backs like those who do not know God? Or do we pause, wait for the strength we’re praying for, take a comma and rise again. The power from the Lord is always there to lift you up. Perhaps grief must play-out, first. Then, rise again in faith whether you feel good or not.
I believe that every calamity, every trauma and every setback is a comma. Every trial is a comma. But, like most things in life, it’s what we do with it. How we respond?
One of the things that can turn a comma into a coma is disappointment. What were we hoping for?
Disappointment is when our expectation was not the same as the reality. Disappointment often reveals the fact that we are not looking at the truth. We were hoping in something that was not strong enough to sustain our expectation— we wanted that person (or pet) to live as long as we would, even though we knew there is no way to guarantee something like that. The truth is that everything living will one day die. We love and enjoy and rejoice while we have that pleasure of their company. Yet only when we fully release them to God; clinging to Him as our mainstay and stronghold, and not them; can we lessen the piercing pain of their disappearance one day. So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:31 & 32)
The bottom line with the storms of life and the tragedies that come to every home and every person is this: It happens. Fall down; meet with your God; find rest for your soul. And then, we lean into Revelation, chapter three to tap into the power of God to get back up and keep moving: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.” (Revelation 3:20 & 21)
The pummeling waves of the storm will inevitably come. They will make us stronger and better equipped to deal with the next one. Jesus is Lord of the storm and He is with us through all of them!
When the storm is raging, sometimes all we can do is hold onto His hand and cry out. Yet when the storm is passed, we are then able to look to Him for instruction, guidance, solace and comfort. We then have the ability to overcome anything. And when we use the power of the Holy Spirit and the strength of the intercession of Jesus, we will be restored.
The situation may never be “fixed”; the expectation may never be met; the dead may never rise on the earth again... but WE will be able to overcome: For the lovers of God may suffer adversity and stumble seven times, but they will continue to rise over and over again. But the unrighteous are brought down by just one calamity and will never be able to rise again. ( Proverbs 24:16, TPT)
Adrienne Greene is pastor and author of "Kryptonite: The Killing Fields of Christianity's Acceptable Sins". (Amazon or Barnes & Noble) Contact for inquiries or bookings is found at info@adriennewgreene.com
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