Am I Going to Hell?
I did something I would never do: I took the Abortion Pill. Now I cannot live with the guilt and fear that I will go to hell. Am I going to hell?
I realize it took a lot of courage to contact me and I'm thankful you did. Since you’re mentioning hell and are experiencing the conviction of ending a life, I’ll assume you understand there is a God and he is intensely anti-abortion (since he is the author of all life.) Yet, in contrast to some pastoral teachings and church doctrines, there is no pit so deep and no sin so severe that God cannot find you, forgive you and redeem you if you are willing to take his hand even now. Only your intentional rejection of the Holy Spirit is unforgivable. (Matthew 12:31, 32.) When we reject our Creator, we have discarded Him...and with that, all hope is gone. There is no back-door into heaven, only the door of Jesus Christ. If we leave earth without salvation in Christ, we die forever. Choose him, repent, begin again and you are safe from hell. Safe in his loving arms.
It’s important to understand that repentance is a complete turning away from our sinful acts. Our forgiveness through Christ’s sacrifice is not something we take lightly as a quick-fix, Band Aid solution or jail-pardon which eases our conscience for a while. Repenting of an abortion is saying to God, “By your grace and mercy, I will never, ever do that again.” The fact that you reached out to me tells me you have the desire to please the Lord. He has not given up on you—but you must not give up on him either. This awful moment in your history is revealing that God is nowhere near the highest priority in your life. Jesus will cleanse you, forgive you and bring you into a real relationship with him, but you must choose it. “Behold, you have become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse happens to you” (John 5:14, NASB.)
I realize the abortion pill (also known as RU-486) is a morning-after convenience for women who suspect a baby has been conceived but may not be sure. Whether you stand guilty or innocent, forgiveness through Christ is something vital to your peace. Peace is clearly something you lack.
The present issue is not so much the abortion, if one occurred. That is now in the past and cannot be undone. Your baby, if it existed, will be waiting for you in heaven and is with Jesus right now. The main issue here is your life: your lifestyle, choices and the reasons why you came to be in the position of needing an abortion pill. Sinful behavior is not just a problem (we all have it) it is something very much alive and with a mind of its own, as you may realize. When we choose to live without a daily connection to Christ who then governs our habits, behaviors and decisions, we are sitting ducks to our own appetites and passions which may or may not be fully redeemed. We must be proactive in choosing and clinging to our God as we mature and learn to control ourselves. Any other way of life, for a Christian, puts us in danger of things like sexual exploits rooted in need other than love (the need for attention, validation or company.) Love requires commitment and marriage, if sex is involved. This is not my old-fashioned, soap-box-sermon; it is the Bible's steadfast, ancient roadmap to successful, intimate relationships.
You will choose how you want to live your life. If you partner with Jesus, and refuse your previous path, you will experience many changes. Some of them difficult yet full of peace and joy. Sacrifice will be required as you say "no" to yourself and to others. Maturity, rather than bad decisions, will begin to occur. You may even be proud of yourself as you transform into a strong, Christian woman instead of a fragile girl full of problems, fears and crushing regrets.
I'll be praying for you! Especially that you surround yourself with well-rooted, Christian people and a local church-group full of love, support and recovery. Jesus is waiting for you.